


ii. the last one

by witheredgrapefruit



Series: jihan and what they could be [2]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 12:32:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8624578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witheredgrapefruit/pseuds/witheredgrapefruit
Summary: Jisoo and jeonghan broke up 6 months ago. Jeonghan's struggling to move on but he knew their relationship is stuck in a dead end, or is it?





	

“Jeonghan,

This is our 5th monthsary and I’m writing this, like I’ve said in the other letters, for you to read in our wedding. 5 amazing months of being with you as my boyfriend, 4 years as a friend; I don’t know what can top that arrangement anymore. To have your presence in my life is truly magical and I’m forever grateful to have you. Although the first batch of cookies you made is too sweet and the other is badly burnt, I’ll just take that as a sign of how sweet and hot this relationship is. I love you so much even if you take a bath longer than an average human. Even if you’re basically one with the couch during holidays and day offs. I have to admit I’m getting jealous sometimes. Haha. I don’t know what to say anymore, it’s just that I love you so much. I can’t emphasize this enough even if I have written this in all of the other letters. You’re just so magical and I don’t know what I’d do without you in my life. I hope it never happens and I know it never will. I love you babe until our 5th anniversary, 5th honeymoon and 5th kid? Haha, I’m just kidding. (No not really)

\- Jisoo” 

For the nth time that evening Jeonghan pulled tissues to wipe his tears. He wouldn’t be in this state if he wasn’t such a nosy fucker. He was cleaning his room to ease his mind from the stress at work. When he was arranging the stuff in his storage cabinet he noticed an unfamiliar box and when he opened it, months of built up sorrow flew out. And now, Jeonghan’s a mess he asked for.

6 months since they broke up, they’re obviously in a point of no return. Jeonghan has been moving on, or so he thinks. He abandoned his long haired self and went for a bob cut. The first step for moving on, they say. But as much as he denies it, Jeonghan knows his friends still think he’s not actually moving on. 

Joshua, unlike what stated in the letters he wrote, has actually been coping pretty well. He doesn’t even need to cope, that fucker. Jeonghan doesn’t know why he’s crying over these letters when all of Joshua said are now lies. 

For the past 3 hours of him reading, he has read 11 letters now. A letter from when Joshua realized his feelings for the then long haired boy, two letters from when he decided to confess; one for when Jeonghan rejected him and one for when Jeonghan accepted his confession. One that Jeonghan really bawled for is a letter from when they had their first date. And then the series of letters from their monthsaries. 

‘One more letter’ 

His heart insisted him to grab another one, so he did. This is one of the times when your mind completely stops functioning and shit happens afterwards since heart took over. But Jeonghan didn’t care. If this is the only thing that can make him feel like they’re still together he’d be more than willing to go through all of the pain. 

From the sea of letters inside the box, Jeonghan just noticed an odd one out. Joshua’s letters are usually enveloped nicely. Some even has the same neat envelope style. But this one is just a folded yellow paper. When Jeonghan took it for a closer inspection there are some parts of the paper that looked like they’re dried out from drops of water. 

‘It can’t be’ Based on his gut feeling, this letter looks like the one. Jeonghan already suspected that there would be a letter like this.  
He opened the letter and read the first sentence Joshua wrote. Turns out his gut feeling was correct. It was that letter. Their breakup letter. Joshua’s last letter. It wasn’t a good idea but Jeonghan started reading.

“Jeonghan,

This letter is probably the last letter I will write for you. The last time I will say the ‘I love yous’ that I used to wish I can say for eternity. The last time I’m dropping a letter in this box. Letters I’ve never sent. Letters I never dropped at the mail office. But they’re letters I’m leaving here at the house we used to call ours. I hope that someday when you find this box, when you open it and read the letters, I hope you’ll understand that I want you to meet a better person. A person who will write you letters with nicely sewn phrases. A person who will sing you better love songs. A person who will cuddle with you during your lazy days. A person who you’ll bake burnt cookies with. A person who will love you better than I did. 

Jeonghan, I hope you understand, now that you’re reading this, that the reason why I don’t call you or text you or anything to let you know that I still long for you is because you deserve someone better than me. I always long for you Jeonghan. I always will. You’ve affected me greater than I should’ve known. I wanted to go back to you but we’ve reached a point of no return. Frustrations are thrown. Harsh statements are out in the air. But do know that even if I said those things, I’d be more than willing to take it all back if I had known we would breakup because of it.

This time at night while I’m writing this, you’re crying. I hear you fiddling at the cabinet under the sink to get more boxes of tissue. But I didn’t talk to you amidst all the noise you’re creating. Maybe because that’s how bad of a boyfriend I am, I’d rather write you a parting letter than to comfort you. I’d rather make you stay away than stay with me. I’d rather you cry about me now than make you cry more for me if I stayed longer with you.

At this point of the letter, I will say I don’t love you. I will say my heart doesn’t ache when I hear you crying. That my heart doesn’t break into pieces every time I see you holding back a tear. That I don’t regret all of the things I said in our heated argument. That I probably would meet another person after we break up. That all traces of you in my life are gone now. Although it hurts I hope you don’t love me anymore. I hope you’re meeting another person now. And that you’re not shedding tears because of me again. I hope that it isn’t Joshua written on your heart anymore. 

\- Joshua “

Now there are more drops of tears on the yellow paper. Joshua’s and Jeonghan’s. Has their relationship became that bad that tears are the only thing their names could be together? 

An hour has passed and all Jeonghan did was stare at the letter, seeing the letters but didn’t have the heart to decipher it again. A mountain of tissues has started to pile up. Tissue boxes lay around his bedroom floor. Jeonghan was just there, staring at his white wall with a blank look on his face. He isn’t bawling now but a tear would sometimes escape. 

It’s 11 in the evening. Jeonghan searched around the house for the address of Joshua’s new apartment. He saved it when Joshua once returned one of his things. Jeonghan first contemplated on whether to continue this or not. He finally decided to continue since he already cried too much that night. 

-

“I’m coming! Who is-“ He opened his door revealing himself along with his shocked face.  
“It’s me.” Jeonghan said to the guy in front of him, Jisoo.

**Author's Note:**

> this is one of the maaaaany jihan stories i have written this year. there's a lot so i hope you'll look forward for more. also, if i have failed to channel brokenhearted-ness i apologize hehe. i hope you have as much fun as i did while i was writing this. 
> 
> ps. im sorry i dont edit my works  
> pps. ill try to write longer ones next time


End file.
